Again, this was widely ignored. Your apartment house is nowhere near as soundproof as you'd like it to be. What if he tries to do something? The Dangerous Neighbor. You don't have to alienate the guy — just be honest about your privacy concerns. he cut it off. Your neighbor seems to have some emotional issues along with a really strange personality. In a situation where you have reasonable, immediate fear of your neighbor – particularly if the neighbor makes physical threats on your safety – gather any evidence you have of the issues and call the police. How to deal with extremely nosey/creepy neighbors? I have, and having the quirky superintendent that noticed everything living there was a good thing. Some estimates place the number of women who will be raped or sexually assualted (in America) at 76%. always texting me 'you're beautiful', "you're amazing", "i like you" I never write back. Seeing the police often at a neighbor's house could be a red flag that your neighbors are dangerous. (You’ll quickly know if it’s the former or latter.) I live alone as a young woman and it really creeps me out. If your neighbour doesn’t pick up on your body language or hints, being honest could help clear the air. “Things are not always what they seem,” says Smith. It is impossible to reason with unreasonable and irrational people, then go and throw in a nosy body and you have an anti social person. One day I overheard the woman complaining to the landlord about us using the washing machine. You cannot have a constructive conversation with someone like her so speaking to her about anything is going to be counterproductive. I think, fwiw, that I might try The Chat before, rather than after, implementing the Just Don’t Engage policy, to reduce the possibilty of a unpleasant and unproductive sidetrip to Are You Mad At Me. The issue is whether he can respect boundaries. the same way you did by telling her to mind her own business. You can deal with loud motorcycles on your street and kids selling everything under the sun at your door, but it’s not always easy to come up with ways to deal with nosy neighbors. Women who worry about offending someone or being rude are usually the first ones to get raped or robbed. When it gets one-sided from either direction, then it can be a problem. I would say, based on my experience with community living and nosy neighbors who would ask the most intrusive questions, that building a repertoire of outwardly courteous and polite answers is a good way to cope with them. I'm not sure you can, and I think, as others have suggested, you need to start by giving up the idea that you need to be the nice one. Better bear that in mind when you converse or argue, when you use the bathroom, when you watch TV or play music, and when you're in bed. If you have closed blinds, then the only way your nosy neighbor can see what's going on would be … Maybe mention it to your landlord? A woman moved in a little over a month ago to a studio down the hall. "There is every possibility that he will respond appropriately to her requests or changed behavior. How to Acclimate a Cat to Bedtime Rituals. Whether you live in a home, condo, or apartment, there are times when you may be subjected to trespassing neighbors. All posts copyright their original authors. How to deal with crazy creepy neighbor? How am I advocating battle???? The neighbors then organized a rotating schedule of lawn care for the ill neighbor. If you go on vacation, install a security system or video cameras. How do you think about the answers? I think I first heard of this in "Dont Shoot The Dog". Sorry for the serial posting, but I just thought of an example that might help, from my dealings with the neighbor I mentioned. Likely this will result in a press of unwanted attention from. Even if you prefer the estimates that put that number closer to 25%, that is still a lot of women. She's around 30 something, lives alone and is currently unemployed. Just keep telling her that, she will get the message eventually. As soon as we moved in, they were asking me to cut down an evergreen in our back yard. Kari on October 10, 2013: I have had to deal with a neighbor that we are convinced is a physcopath for years. Klang, don't be obtuse. I would agree with common sense to tend to your own life and try to avoid her path. Write down the dates and times of all incidents involving the neighbor. Spying or stalking might be done by a jealous ex boyfriend, a nosy neighbor, or an obsessed acquaintance, while surveillance might be performed by a company, a private investigator, or the government. She complains about other neighbours arriving after midnight even though we all live in separate apartments and you can barely hear the main door. She's saying that if she declines an offer of help. I didn't make a lot of fuss, just got up, went to the bathroom, threw up and went back to sleep. They didn't like it hanging some branches in their yard. I don't know what to do anymore! I understand where bilabial is coming from, I just don't agree. There ARE trespassing laws, and your father should enforce those if the neighbor really is entering. Stop engaging her with any type of communication. She does sound like she is not quite alright in the mental health department or at least seems so. arm yourself. Perhaps a "white noise generator" or even an exhaust fan or an air cleaner that's on all the time would give you some privacy from listening ears. I would talk with the landlord/management of her stopping the washing machines or leaving notes. What the author said is: "We train people how to treat us.". My boyfriend got a bit upset and confronted her with the washing machine issue. A neighbour was struggling to wash her clothes because this person would always turn off the machine without saying anything, whatever the time of the day or day of the week. Help me keep a chinchilla without cockroaches. (You'll want to call your landlord about this one.) The guy wanted me to call the city and have them cut down the tree. This will enhance your personal security and since he watches everything, he will see you are taking steps that increase your privacy and control. More importantly, you could probably get one of them to get him to back off a little. For god's sake, she's not advocating yelling "Fuck off, rapist!" But in a scene that felt like a terrible episode of Scooby Doo, a storm blew in. As soon as you realize you're dealing with bully neighbors, start documenting all interactions. I do not quite understand the "problem" she has with your laundry habits. Join 6,470 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. "Some estimates place the number of women who will be raped or sexually assualted (in America) at 76%.". When he made an inappropriate joke, did you say something about it, or just giggle nervously? We were all asked to put our names on our laundry baskets, and place them on top of the machine we were using, so if there was a problem, people would know how to find us. Use these easy ways to deal with nosy neighbors and you’ll solve the problem in no time. I don't want to offend him or make him lose it so I just don't say anything. Don't be submissive. Method 2 of 3: Confronting Your Neighbor. No need to be brutally brusque, but this fella needs to see your attention dry up and quick. Okay, my boyfriend made me post a second time so that he could get his two cents in. The guy noticed those folks that *were* out of place and meant harm, and made sure that the police department did too. Tend to your own business and hope beyond hope that she just stays out of your path. This may be a wise choice if you think your neighbors are snooping around on your property. Is he coming into your apartment without prior notice? No big deal. McCain stands by Fauci criticism: 'I'm not a phony', LPGA star shares wrenching story of abuse as a child, Amanda Kloots surprised at the hate over vaccination, United Flight 328 engine failure linked to metal fatigue, Capitol Police officer's death mired in conflicting reports, Newton shuns retirement talk, wants Patriots return, Protester, 75, shoved to ground by police files lawsuit, Biden laments 'truly grim' COVID-19 milestone, NASA releases stunning video of rover landing on Mars, 1st-round pick Wilson says he's 'done with' Titans, How Texas's electrical grid nearly collapsed. How to deal with creepy male neighbor? What do you do when you don't want to answer a question about your personal life? Another option you have is to write a petition together with … No one in this thread is advocating that mintchip or anyone else "view every man as a potential rapist." Separate the issues. If you involve the police, keep a copy of the police report, and document the date and time the police are called. Collect Evidence & Try to Force Your Neighbor to Move If your neighbor’s behavior is exceptionally irritating but isn’t life-threatening, you may want to collect evidence and contact authorities (local precinct, cops, lawyers). If a stranger is being assaulted in public, do you really want to intervene or just see how it plays out? Neighbors can turn out to be a big help (they can collect your mail and sign for a package while you're away) or even become your friends. But, as you may already know, a bad neighbor … Wow. Do regular bug sweeps of your property. 141 Responses to “How to Deal with Neighbor Harassment ... (I'm white, creepy neighbor is black, and landlord is black), and that he (creepy nighbor) just has a crush on me and is harmless! She also said she was not bothered with the noise or bills, it was just curiosity. Get a solicitors letter sent to her telling her to desist. Mintchip's apartment super is an acquaintance. Visit your neighbor to ascertain why the lawn is untended. Do you think that you are bruce wayne? A note from the owners was posted on the door, with rules for considerate use of the machines, including not using both sets at the same time by one person, and finishing everything by 9:00 pm. You need to be more specific about the ways he's invading your space, because as you can see above, people are creating all kinds of wild scenarios. My next door neighbor was in the habit of knocking on my window at 11pm, making me accept whatever wine he was drinking, and monologuing for 30-60min. Take photos or videos of the problems the neighbors cause. To all the people in the thread thinking that occhiblu and others are over-reacting, I just want to point out that rapists don't have some giant R emblazoned on their forehead. If he also has a black sense of humour and is a movie fan then he will be aware that dark goings on in an apartment block basement are a horror cliché (think, "If jibes with reality even once, and protects one woman from being victimized (in any way) I'm all for calling out boundary overstepping.". And it may not be about rape, either. I'll leave the absolutely ridiculous "OMG rapist" thread alone, and tell the OP this: "This guy notices EVERYTHING" - in this day & age, this might not be that bad of a thing. USA parties and siblings?need advice please and thank you ? I live in fear, even when I leave town for a weekend! Install spy cameras in your own home to find out if your neighbors make a habit of entering while you are at work. The landlord brushed it off because the bills are included in the price of the studios and she kept pressing the issue asking him why we used the machine twice that particular week. The older people in the neighborhood all know everything that goes on and keep their eyes peeled for anything suspcious. No need to get angry with someone who has issues because you'll never be able to change her. I think you'd agree that the odds of an explosion on an airplane are far lower. How to Deal with an Overly Friendly Neighbor Method 1 of 3: Setting Boundaries with Your Neighbor. It doesn't matter if he's a potential rapist or just an overly careful guy. We refused to talk and then she came up to me asking questions about why was I throwing up the night before. You add a lock to your concerns, if you feel sure that you are work! 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